Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, there are a lot of preparations you have to do. You will want to make sure that you are hitting on all of the things that you need to so that you are not missing anything.  You will want to make a list of the items that you have to do so that you can have it done and ready with no problems.  This will help you in the rebuilding of your new life after divorce.
You will find that you will have to start over to put it plainly when you are divorced. You will have to start out on your own again and learn how to do things on your own.  You will have to take care of your home and all the things that go along with having your own home.  It is a very long process but one that will make you feels good when you have it all accomplished.
There are many utilities that you will have to get put into your name once you are divorced. You will have to make sure that you are starting your own form of credit so that you are established and ready to have these things put into your name. Sometimes utility companies will not issue you credit with out you first having some sort of credit already established. You will have to figure out the best way to do this.
You will want to make sure that you are separating all of the accounts that were once in both names. You need to do this as soon as possible to avoid any type of complication later on down the road.  You need to then start building up your credit so that you can start your own good name going.  Having utilities is a big and important step to rebuilding your life and getting back on track.
The main companies that you need to make sure you call are the electric, water, garbage, phone and car insurance companies. You will want to make sure that you are contacting these agencies at once. This is going to make it easier for you to get things started soon and a lot easier. This is a great start to getting your own name rebuilt so that you are happy and able to enjoy life to the fullest.
The one thing that you need to also be making sure that the past balances are paid off. You may have to do this first before you decide to switch them into your name if you are staying in the same location where you and your spouse lived. This is going to be important because if you have bills from when the other person lived at the location, you may be entitled a reimbursement for this money.  You will have to discuss this with your attorney and spouse and see how it all works out.
When you are making the switch for all of the utilities you will want to make sure that you are paying the bills on time.  This will be better for you when it comes time to get credit for other things. You will want to make sure that you are on time and paying the balance off as much as you can. This will help you get your life rebuilt and back on the right track where you belong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better for yourself and with the right help and a little determination you can do it.  You will see that you will have a better life and be happier once you get out there on your own and surviving!

What is a legal separation?

When a couple gets a legal separation, it is a lot like a divorce.  It will involve the same process of filing papers with the court to start a legal action. The court will then have to make the decisions about where the children will live, debts, and assets in a divorce.  At the end of the process, the parties are legally separated instead of being actually divorced.  This means that they are still married but not responsible for each other and what the other party does.

A legal separation is the best thing to do in the last stages of couples not getting along.  It can be a way of taking a break and finding out what each party wants.  There is no reason to rush into getting divorce for some people and it is a decision that has to be well thought out just as the marriage should have been.

Sometimes when people are on a legal separation, they will try and work things out.  However, there are some cases, where it will not work and the parties' involved want to get a divorce.  One year after the legal separation is granted, one of the parties can petition to convert the separation to a divorce.  They can do this without further hearings and the other party cannot prevent it from happening.  People will sometimes prefer the separation instead of a divorce because of their religious beliefs or for insurance purposes.

If the party then decides to get a divorce, it will terminate their marriage.  In order to do that, parties involved will go to court and decide how to handle questions of the children and how to divide their marital property.  Each party is going to be responsible for one half of the marital debts.

Marital property is anything that the couple bought while they were married.  It does not matter whose name the property is in or who actually purchased it.  Bank accounts, pensions, and stocks are marital property even if they are held in one name only.  Property brought into the marriage is still marital depending on the length of the marriage and what type of property it is.  The court will be as fair as it can and sometimes the parties involved will make the right choices about being fair in the divorce.

It is always a good thing when a couple can make the appropriate decisions about how things should be split up before actually going to court.  Both parties should have attorneys and this will help things progress along without having to worry about any legalities.  This is the best way to protect each party's assets and to make sure that the proceedings are fair.

What's a divorce?

Sometimes married couples do not get along and find that they are never going to make the marriage work.  That is when a divorce comes into mind.  A divorce is a legal action between married people to terminate their marriage relationship.  It is a hard time for all that is involved.

There is something that is called a no fault divorce.  This means that the court does not get in to why the couple wants to be divorced.  It used to be that the person starting the divorce had to prove certain reasons for getting divorced.  Some of these reasons included adultery or abuse. This time was often difficult for the couple and even a little embarrassing.  The questions of what parties had been doing are private and these topics come out in the courtroom.

Now the law is different and it allows one of the parties to get a divorce if he or she states in court that the marriage is irretrievably broken.  Usually the judge will not ask any other questions about the marriage and allow the divorce to move on.

In some divorces, however, they can get messy and there are many emotions brought out in court.  This is a hard time to deal with and many people go through very depressing times.  In some of the instances, one party does not want the divorce and they will fight it with all that they have.  This will make the situation harder on both parties.

Some court systems will want to make sure that the couple is doing the right thing.  They will in some cases order the couple to seek counseling.  This is usually only for the couples that there is hope for.  This is not for everyone and it is important to do only if one or both of the parties involved thinks that there is a chance for reconciliation.

People often times give up on their marriage too quickly.  In some cases, they never really give the other person or the marriage a chance.  There are hard times in all marriages and some people decide to try and work it out, while others tend to just want to give it all up as fast as they can.

It is always best to do what makes both parties happy and able to move on and get back to living the rest of their life.  Going through a divorce will be one of the toughest things a person can live through.

Keep positive during a divorce

If you are someone that is facing a divorce, you may be feeling very depressed or emotionally in distress.  These feelings are very normal.  You cannot predict what is going to happen when you get married.  Some marriages work and others do not.  It is important to understand that this is not the end of the world and things like this happen all the time.

You are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce.  If you and your spouse cannot longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy.  You need to worry about your future and the well being of yourself and your children if any.  Sometimes a divorce can be avoided with the right consoling and other times, there is just no hope.

You have to keep positive when you are going through a divorce.  You cannot let yourself be taken down by what is happening around you.  If you are being accused of untruthful accusations, you have to keep strong so that you can defend your name and your reputation.

Do not give up.  You have to be able to fight for what you think is right until the end.  If you are determined to get something that is rightfully yours, you need to stand up for it.  Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you do have to keep up a good fight for it.  You have to make sure that you are doing this so that you can keep up your positive attitude about what it going on.

Keep yourself surrounded by others that are positive as well. Keeping your friends and family around you is important. You need to keep having fun and laughing when you can.  This will keep you in a positive atmosphere and keep you ready for what is ahead.

Once the divorce is over and done with no matter what the outcome, you have to be ready to go on with your life.  You need to be ready to get on with your future and to make your dreams come true.  Your life is not over even if you think that it is.  There are always second chances and you deserve to have one.  Your time will come for love again and if it does not, you will know that you are better off without the other spouse.  You can make it on your own and have a good life.

How to protect your finances during a divorce

If you think that you will be ending your marriage in the near future and you are uncertain what the future will hold for you, you may want to start taking the right precautions now.  You have to make sure that you are protecting your financial security for later.

Reduce unnecessary expenses as soon as you can.  Meet with your spouse and agree to cancel utilities and other bills.  You will probably need to have money later on and this is a way to save money.  Sell off your personal property that you do not need or want anymore.   You can do this now to avoid losing it later on.

Cancel all of your jointly owned credit cards.  You both should agree to cancel the cards and get separate ones.  You need to cancel the cards because the spouse can charge up all kinds of different charge on the cards and you will get stuck paying them back.  Canceling the cards now can save you money that you will need to have later on.

You may want to separate the jointly owned bank accounts.  If you have bank accounts together, you may want to divide the money first.  If not, your spouse may decide to go and take care of the money on their own and leave you with nothing.  If you have outstanding bills for the home, explain this to the spouse so that the arrangements can be made to pay for them.  If you do open up a different bank account, do it at another bank.  Do not stay with the same company.

Stop contributing to combined accounts like 401K and pension plans.  Telling your place of employment usually does this.  Make the necessary arrangements so that your money is not being added to this account.  You have to do this until you find out what will happen to those accounts and who will benefit from them.

Keep your job or try and find one.  You have to make sure that you are protecting yourself and able to raise your family. If you are not getting any income from your spouse, you will have to do something to support your monthly needs.  You may want to ask your 'soon to be ex' if they can help you financially until the divorce proceedings are over.  This is only recommended if you are ending the divorce in a good way.  If you are fighting over everything and not getting along, you need to contact your attorney and have them ask for you.

Can one spouse prevent a divorce?

If one person does not want to get a divorce, but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce, then the spouse cannot stop the divorce.  This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce.

A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault.  This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide.  There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may also be a choice for some situations.

If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce, the spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action.  This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court.

Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage.  One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he is alone with his mistress.  This is known as a set up and it is an argument that one can make in court to defend their actions.

Provocation is the inciting of a spouse to do a certain act.  If a spouse is suing for divorce and claims that the other spouse abandoned them, the other spouse might defend their suit because they were provoked by the abandonment.  Collusion is if a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a time and the couple doe not want to prolong the situation.  This may lead the couple to mislead the court and pretend that one of them was at fault just to get out of the marriage.

These above defenses are not usually used for a few different reasons.  Proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense.   Your efforts will usually bring nothing to the situation.  Chances are that a court will eventually grant the divorce.  A person should not have to stay married if they do not wish too.  The law is designed to give people the opportunity to get out of the marriage if that is what he or she really wants to do.  If you are involved in a marriage that you don't want to be in any longer, the process can be hard to get through, but you can make a divorce really happen, and put an end to the marriage.

What needs be avoided when getting a divorce

When you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children.  After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way.  You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.

You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent.  This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future.  You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well.  You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.

Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything.  You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to.  Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you're soon to ex spouse's residence any time that they want.

You never want to distance yourself from your children.  You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent.  You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent.  It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults.  It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children's sake.


Do not try and buy the child's affection with gifts and money.  You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now.  You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there.

If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run.  It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce.  It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them.